"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in
The Count’s gonna be gone for the weekend to attend a tiny little convention type thing in San Diego. nbd~
So if there are any pressing matters you needed me for (pfft doubtful), sorry but I’ll only have my mobile with me which means (after my queue empties) blogging will be sporadic at best, if at all. Not that it matters or you care, but hey, there’s always that one person that does, y’know? This goes out to you random internet stranger that gives a shit ;D
Y’all make sure to get up to plenty of mischief while I’m gone! Just remember not to leave a paper trail <3 xx
It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks.
She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
Because the human body doesn’t work like that.
This is my reaction to everything else:
Because the english language doesn’t work like that.
The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format.
Reblogging because the reaction gifs are spot on.
I couldn’t stand FSOG and couldn’t make it past the sporking of the second book - but if you’re interested in the “original” fanfiction, now you have it. And if you’re interested in some genius sporking of it:
“And how hard is it to land even a minimum-wage job? This year, the Ivy League college admissions acceptance rate was 8.9%. Last year, when Walmart opened its first store in Washington, D.C., there were more than 23,000 applications for 600 jobs, which resulted in an acceptance rate of 2.6%, making the big box store about twice as selective as Harvard and five times as choosy as Cornell. Telling unemployed people to get off their couches (or out of the cars they live in or the shelters where they sleep) and get a job makes as much sense as telling them to go study at Harvard.”—"Why Don’t the Unemployed Get Off Their Couches?" and Eight Other Critical Questions for Americans (via seriouslyamerica)
omfg someone just reblogged my Bertbutt gifset with the tag “hobo prince” and im really mad because like, WHY THE FUCK DID I NEVER THINK TO CALL HIM THAT?!?! ALL OF MY LOVE’S HAVE PRINCE RELATED NICKNAMES
You can’t have Comic-Con without Guillermo del Toro and this year he brought his own private haunted mansion.
At the Legendary Pictures booth del Toro has set up a snow-covered gate into a small mini-haunted house experience that was designed by the director himself. There’s a video below of writer Germain Lussier walking through the haunted hall and the details are astounding. The voice you hear narrating is del Toro’s.
Hey tumblr! Did you know that if you suffer from depression / anxiety or any other mental illness, you can register your dog as an emotional support animal, making it illegal for a landlord to refuse to rent to you? That’s right. No breed restrictions, no weight restrictions, no matter what, they are not allowed to refuse.
"Holy shit, she smells like heaven, been best friends since we were eleven and, oh my god, I like her… Yeah, I heard you like her. Baby, I thought that we had something, compared to him, I’m next to nothing. Oh my god, I like her… Yeah, I heard you like her.”
I’m sorry this blog has been total trashgarbage more so than usual lately but the newer work schedule has had my sleeping way off and fucked so im way too tired most days to do anything but lay in bed. it should be back to it’s old trash ways by next week tho~